A “Midlife transition” is something that happens to many of us between the ages of 40 and 60. The changes can be natural and almost unnoticed or rapid and painful. But, regardless of how it happens, it’s a natural and normal part of maturing. Many people experience a general sense of unhappiness with their life or lifestyle and seek to make changes to find happiness and contentment during those years.
Our midlife years go by blindly fast. The fact is, most of us are too busy focusing on careers and everyday necessities to see where we’re headed. The impact of the choices we make during midlife becomes apparent as we get a little older.
Midlife Can Make Us Short-sighted
Like so many of us, lots of people today are so preoccupied with the present that they don’t take the time to see where their lives are heading. And, by the time they do, often it’s too late.
Just like me, most people I meet who are in their midlife years are incredibly short-sighted. That’s not meant to be derogatory at all. I can say that because so was I. It’s not necessarily their fault. It’s just that we all live way too fast. We set up a 401K or a retirement plan and other similar financial arrangements, but as we all know, money isn’t everything. In contrast, money in the bank is not a consolation if your life winds up being a train wreck.
It’s not until we see the results of not paying attention to the things that really matter that we realize we’re in deep trouble.
Much of the heartache we encounter might have been prevented with a little insight. This is why midlife transitions can be so painful.
Don’t get me wrong, looking back at my midlife years, I wish I had had the wherewithal to deepen some relationships while marginalizing others. I’d like to go back and make better career decisions. And I’d pay closer attention to my emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
Midlife Transition: A Time For Both Action and Reflection
Being aware of what’s going on in our lives can be a catalyst to change and growth and make a midlife transition smoother. But ignoring them can be gut-wrenching.
If we’d honestly evaluate our lives and circumstances before experiencing a midlife transition and be willing to make some adjustments, then the years ahead could be much better.
Midlife Transitions: 10 Lessons I Learned In Midlife
The impact of my decisions between 40 and 60 shaped my personal midlife transition so much so that I decided to create a list of the 10 powerful lessons learned.
Lesson #1 – Too Focused On My Career
I learned I’d spent too much time focusing on my career during midlife. But, I didn’t realize how it had affected my marriage, my family, and my own well-being.
I learned the importance of having long, deep conversations with loved ones. This revitalized my marriage and strengthened my family relationships.
Lesson #2 – Unprepared for Caregiving
I found myself totally unprepared for being a caregiver. Even though it was a relatively short period of time, the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact of being a caregiver was much more difficult than I’d expected. I found out how difficult it was to watch my father battle terrible episodes of dementia and later be confined to a hospital bed until his death. I discovered a new appreciation for life and just how short it is. This served as a catalyst to make major changes in my own life.
Lesson #3 – Effects of Grief
I learned that compounded grief and loss can take a terrible toll. I wasn’t prepared for losing multiple family members within a year’s time and officiating at most of their funeral services. Furthermore, I began to understand that grief is a process that touches every fiber of your being. However, through it, I discovered how I could take some practical steps and combine them with my faith to be more compassionate toward others and become a bit more resilient.
Lesson #4 – Impact of an “Empty Nest”
My wife and I learned the impact of the “empty nest syndrome.” When both of our children left home within a couple of months apart, we learned that, while we were still “mom and dad”, our relationship had to enter a new phase. We learned to communicate with our adult children better, accept a new role, and move forward with our own lives. This created mutual respect and much deeper relationships with our adult children.
Lesson #5 – Challenge Of Changing Careers at 50+
I’d previously been a public speaker for over a decade. But, after the passing of so many of our close family members, we decided to relocate closer to our remaining family. So, I had to change careers, and I re-entered the high-tech manufacturing world. It was tough and mentally taxing, but I applied the knowledge I’d acquired previously as a draftsman, machinist, and quality control manager, and I excelled at my job. While it often felt like a forced march, it was a time of tremendous personal growth, financial stability, and reconnection with our family that I’d not trade for anything.
Lesson #6 – Effort Required to Earn a Degree
I learned how tough it is to go back to school to further my education at 50+. I found that it took more effort to focus, required more time, and was difficult to schedule. Nevertheless, I graduated with honors from a major university, and this helped to prepare me for what I’m doing today. Going back to school later in life helps to broaden your horizons, gives you more self-worth, and opens doors you never knew existed.
Lesson #7 – Limitations of Relocating
I found that where I chose to live directly limited career opportunities and salary, but that’s not all. It also impacted our social life and quick access to the best health providers and more. While we’d still like to expand our social circle, the top medical facilities are in other parts of the state. However, I overcame the employment limitations I’d encountered by working remotely 100% of the time. And as a result, worked to improve my life and create something better than ever. Plus, I discovered what to look for when the time comes to relocate.
Lesson #8 – Difficulty of Starting a Business
Starting your own business at any age is difficult. But, I learned how difficult it is to start a business later in life. Not because of the economy or lack of knowledge but because of all the changes in our culture, the ever-changing technology, and the energy it requires. But, my wife and I found ways to make working together fun, and we enjoyed learning the latest technology trends. And we discovered how to change our diet and incorporate exercise to boost and maintain our energy.
Lesson #9 – Role of Personal Faith
The things you experienced over the years can deeply impact your spiritual life. I know that all that I’d encountered up to this point in life caused me to reflect deeply on the practical application of my personal faith. I’ve learned that life is a journey, and each new horizon helps you understand yourself a little better. Not only that, but I found that it’s okay to question your faith; it can motivate you to dig deeper and gain more clarity to understand yourself and your place in this world.
Lesson # 10 – Upside to Being Alone
I learned how lonely it can be during a midlife transition. But, I found out that being alone can be a time to look deep within, examine my life, and make some long-needed changes. Being alone allowed me to turn down the noise, shut out the crowd, and dare to dream again.
Midlife Transition: A Doorway To The Future
We each have our own experiences, paths, and stories. I can honestly say that for me, midlife was one of the most difficult and yet the most rewarding times of my life, and later produced some of the most satisfying years of my life.
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